


All Your Base

by Aishuu



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-24
Updated: 2012-12-24
Packaged: 2017-11-22 05:22:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/606259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aishuu/pseuds/Aishuu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Heero Yuy is reading your email.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Your Base

Heero Yuy is reading your email.

This is just a polite reminder to think before you do anything on your computer. Do you want Heero Yuy to read it?

I know you're shaking your head, because you're one of the Smart Internet Savvy people whose password isn't anything like “soccer” or “password.” You're one of the elite who knows what an ISP address is and how to shield yours so you can troll fandomsecrets like it's your job (and yes, I know you're looking for employment, but McDonald's isn't hiring and that liberal arts degree isn't qualifying you for anything that isn't already taken by a Baby Boomer who will never retire). 

You actually know how to enable your firewalls (though they're down right now for that bootleg of The Avengers you're in the middle of torrenting). You're too smart to fall for the Nigerian email scam, and you know better than to click on a link someone you haven't heard from in years sends you. You're a Smart Internet Savvy Person, and hacking is something that happens to Someone Else.

I'm sorry to tell you it doesn't matter, because Heero Yuy owns your internet.

A couple of weeks ago you made the unfortunate mistake of typing in a search phrase which triggered Heero Yuy's interest. You and I both know you were just looking for smut, but that doesn't matter because you accidentally hit on a phrase that Heero Yuy had set up a monitoring net for. You've drawn his attention, and right now he isn't happy with you.

Heero Yuy has your passwords, but what he doesn't have is a sense of humor.

There is no such thing as data security when you annoy Heero Yuy. Your Facebook profile gave your date of birth and you mentioned the name of your pet, so your world is Heero's. 

Your Amazon account? Already analyzed for buying patterns. 

Your bank account? You're lucky he's not currently in need of funds, because it would be very easy sweep your tiny, tiny pool of funds into his the next time he wants some pocket change.

Remember that small, cult fandom that you secretly fic for under a pseud? Yeah, he's read that fic and thinks your sex scenes are physically impossible. 

Heero Yuy has access to your porn, but don't worry. He's not interested.

I don't think you realize how lucky you are that Heero doesn't currently want to make you miserable. I would like to remind you, as a concerned fandom friend, to think of what Heero Yuy can do with access to all your accounts. He can _change your relationship status on Facebook and has access to your Twitter and Tumblr accounts._

Scared yet?

He's not going to bother, but know that he _can_ if you keep pissing him off.

Remember, this is a polite reminder. If you don't pay attention, Heero Yuy will _delete you._


End file.
